Getting Closure

by Henrika F

Worn down sneakers thud against the wet road at an even pace, the monotonous rhythm broken only by the occasional splashes when her feet land in a puddle. Her breath comes out as a fog; her hair, glued to her face by the drizzle. She knows, that she should be freezing by now, but she’s too numb to feel it. She’s too numb to care.

She crosses the creek slithering its way through the valley and the tightness around her chest becomes unbearable. She stops, and leaning against her knees she takes a moment to catch her breath. Come on Beth, you can do it. Do it for Nick, she urges herself. She swallows a sob and forces herself to continue. The closer she gets to the place where they found him, the harder it is to fight back the tears burning in her eyes.

Finally, she sees the stone by the side of the road, and a chill fills her heart. It was here. She slows down, and then stops. With her arms wrapped tightly around her body, she just stands there looking at the spot where she saw him for the last time.

She hasn’t been here since. The place looks different than before, the trees have grown, and a new pavement has been laid. Gone is the blood, gone are the traces of the tragedy that happened, gone are the remains of the love of her life. When she closes her eyes, she can still see him laying there, his beautiful blond hair splayed out against the dark ground, his eyes wide open looking into the skies as he took his last breath. The dam, that she’s been fighting to keep together, bursts and she falls to the ground sobbing. A year has gone by, but the pain still crushes her, crumbling down the fragile walls she has built to protect her heart.

“Why, Nick?” She cries into the dark night. “Why did you have to leave me?”

She sits on her heels, and turns her face up towards the clouds, the tears on her cheeks now mixing with the rain pouring down. “Why did you have to take him away from me?” She closes her eyes and prays for an answer she knows that she will not get.

The rain fades, and a ray of light sneaks its way past the clouds, bringing light to the stone laid down in his memory by the side of the road. In silence she looks at the sight in front of her and gradually warmth wins over the painful chill in her heart. She walks over and brushes off a few wet leaves clinging to the surface. A sudden gust of wind dries off the last teardrops from her cheeks. “I know you are there looking over me, Nick,” she says with a wistful smile. “I’ll never forget you either.”

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